scenes from This Ludicrous Life: things I never expected to say

Your tongue should not be touching your brother’s face.

Why are there dry erase markers in the bathroom, you ask? You don’t want to know.

Hubby, you’ve mixed up my underwear and our daughter’s.

We are not using Satan as a character in stories, ok?

I am not interested in discussing your butt.

Oh cool! Fireball whiskey is only 100 calories!

Introducing The Cast: The Adolescent Diva

2) The Adolescent Diva.

– My teenage daughter.

– Brilliant. Beautiful. My ray of sunshine (except for first thing in the morning).

– A complete and total Hot Mess, covered with a mane of curls. She appears to be the color commentator for the Drama-Drama-Drama Sports Page at her school.

– Can take the boys down in the Gaga Ball pit, much to the boys’ surprise. Her favorite slogan is “Real Princesses Save Themselves.”

– Very Right Brain-Left Brain. Talented artist. A permanent Principal’s List student, she has the potential to run an architecture firm or win an Academy Award for Set Design.

– That is, if she can ever find her pencil, her jacket, her water bottle, the mandatory note from school, her shoes…..