From tonight’s You Can’t Make This Stuff Up parenting corner:

(yelling erupts from across the house)

Adolescent Diva: “The Little Prince peed on the floor!”

Prince: “No I didn’t! I spitted!”

I walk to the kids’ bathroom, where the little prince is sitting on the toilet (he really should get more privacy) and the diva is standing in the doorway like a beat cop ready to give report. She points emphatically at a single square of toilet paper lying on the floor beside the toilet, with a clear wet spot spreading in the middle.

“Walk in that direction!” I order my adolescent, as I point my finger behind me towards her bedroom. As she stomps off, I take a step further into the bathroom and stare at the wet tissue square.

“Did you pee on the floor?” I ask my son.

“No,” he replies, still on the toilet.

“Did you spit on the floor?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t do that!”

“Okay.”

I walk away.

Later, I walk back into the bathroom with my son to give him a bath. The square of toilet paper still sits on the floor, the wet spot has now expanded. My son’s reaction?:

“Ew! That toilet paper is still on the floor!”

Really?